Molly and Jen go down South

4 day recap

2007-03-07T09:07:00.000-08:00

After shows at the 305 South Anti-Mall in Durham (where I purchased a pink snakeskin miniskirt and tutu instead of serious business gear), and Norfolk, we're back at Jess's house in Silver Springs, MD. A mere two days remain for road-related shennanigans.

some highlgihts....

-meeting Audra! That girl, impossibly, is about twice as hot in person as in all those glossy photos. She also looks like Ink, a super-villaness from Batman Beyond, when she's all lubed up in her latex.

See- super villaness! I bet copius numbers of fanboys ejaculated, then and there.

I am smooth with the ladies.

-Seeing the 305 South Anti-Mall, a converted warhouse cum garden of bohemian delights that sells indie comics AND espresso AND ruffle butt panties

The comics section is run by the ever-dapper Jones, who gave me my first and second gallery shows at Jigsaw's former NYC location.

-Listening to Jen Dziura read the hatemail she received as a teen columnist for the Virginian Pilot. I merch girled at Jen's sold out comedy show in Nofolk. Before the show, we did a Dr. Sketchy's at Relative Theory Records. Jen dressed as Wonder Woman, There are photos of the resulting mayhem here.

-Hanging out and getting photographed by Stuntkid in my brand new tutu and polka dot corset

If you live in the DC/Baltimore/Northern Vigrinia area and still desire to see me live, my very last signing is tomorrow, wiht the lovely Kitty Victorian.

March 8th, 2007
Baltimore, MD
Signing and Mini-Dr. Sketchy's at Atomic POP
3620 Falls Road
with the lovely Kitty Victorian
7-9PM
FREE

It got covered in the Baltimore City Paper, along with my ~~big~~, aqualine nose. Though I dislike SG, I'm officially done answering questions about them. Every single article on my book tour, people! I like to think I have more interesting things to chat about than the Pink Menace. On the other hand- dig the illustration.

The Queen of Quirk licked The Boot while wearing a pair of kickin' stilettos

2007-03-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

Jen's performance at The Boot in Norfolk was a bit of a homecoming for Jen who three years ago moved from the area to NYC to become an egg donor.

Scratch that. She moved to NYC to become a full-time comedienne.

As a teenager during the early 90s, Jen wrote editorials for The Virginian-Pilot our local news-rag. For her efforts, she received very little money and a large number of nasty letters from pissed off readers.

During Monday's show, those letters paid off in laughs as she gave them a good public mocking. From now on, those old Bible-beating southeastern Virginia conservatives - without much in the way of learning - will think twice before putting a pen to paper to call out another liberal columnist teenager. That is ... if they aren't rolling over in their graves from embarrassment. (Ha! I really loved this localized bit.)

As for the rest of the show - which included the history of philosophy in less than 15 minutes, decapitated dildos, the hypocrisies of beauty treatments and the ridiculousness of testosterone when trolling for love on Craigslist - I suggest you give her a go. You won't regret it.

Your Friday reminder for Weekend Enjoyment

2007-03-02T21:05:00.000-08:00

It's Friday night as I type these words. I am an interloper to this weblog, cursed as I am with a Y chromosome and an inability to look anything but comedic in corsets and latex. I am, however, not currently on the road, and therefore able to contribute a small reminder to those who might have this bookmarked in their RSS feed or some such technological issue.

To wit: Saturday, those geographically capable of doing so should attend the show at The Garage. As previously stated:

110 W. 7th Street
Winston-Salem, NC
Music by The Malamandos, Viva La Venus, and 220 Short with special appearances by caberet, burlesque and comic performers Foxy Moxy, Molly Crabapple and Jen Dziura
8pm
$5

And, of course, you should then get a good night's rest, as Sunday there is more. Namely:

Free Movie. Free Sketchy. Free Funny.

The Independent thinks it's a good idea.

So does the News & Observer.

I've been to events hosted by these women before, and believe me, they do not disappoint.

But then, if you're reading this, you already know that. Choir, consider yourselves preached to.

suburban baby

2007-03-01T21:42:00.000-08:00

I am from Virginia Beach, land of shiny new big-box stores with enormous parking lots in which seagulls shit on your car.

Molly is from Queens and is hilariously miffed at the "rest" of the country, the part with no subways. Highlights so far:

"Oh, is that what a strip mall looks like? It's AWFUL!"
A story about the first time she saw a highway sign listing all the dining options at the next exit, including Perkins Family Restaurant, and remarked, "Oh, it's so nice that a family restaurant can exist amid a blight of big corporate chains!"

Isn't she a doll? A doll from Far Rockaway?

Princesses in the Palace...

2007-02-28T10:54:00.000-08:00

What a great night.
Sometimes I forget there is a world outside of NYC.
I need to get out more often, though I wouldnt want to live anywhere else.
Everyone at the Palace was great...It's nice to see such a tight little community of people who are so welcome to NYers coming down, and having thier ways with them.
I especially like the design of the place with all its carnivally attributes...the carousel organ pipes above the bar...The other aspects of Carney museum oddities..."Al" the FIre-furred kitty who attcked my ostrich feather robe like he thought it was a pigeon or something...its really neat to see him jump up on the bar and do a catwalk strut past everyones drinks...at the end of the line the bartender poured him a drink of water to which he accepted like a paying customer...
What a fabulous crowd...They seemed a little scared or shy, at first, so I turned on the charm and made wise-cracks all night...sometimes I would slightly break the pose just to shake my beads at the musical climaxes...
Great art, a great crowd and a lot of fun.
I love contributing to artists work.
I hope I made it fun for them...they seemed to like it.
It was over too fast.
I love my Molly...I have said it before and I will say it again...shes one of my biggest heroes and I love to watch her make it...One of the keenest sensibilities I have ever met...(when it comes to certain things).
Jen Dzuira was a great merch grrrrrl, when she got up on stage to pimp our stuff..I couldnt help but notice her perfectly pedicured feet in divine sandalesque gold lame platforms...Who knew Dr. Sholes would be the maker of comfy foot lingerie like those sandals?
And who knew I would find love for Jen's feet?
I dont usually like feet.
Im hoping to make it to her show tonight...I think it might be in Adams morgan.
Ive never seen her perform and Im a bit anxious for the genius comedic insight I have heard so much about...
So come out and see the trouble these two are causing, when they come to a town near you... and come to BOSSA in adams morgan on Thursday March 1st (tomorrow), if you are in the Area.
Molly Crabapple, Casey Wilder and myself will be doing 3 sets of 3 performances each in a lovely dinner lounge setting...with jazzy-snazzy Burlesqueee tunes in between!

Thursday March 1st.
Bedazzling Burlesque
@
Bossa
2463 18th ST NW
9pm
202.667.0088

Next On the Tour: D.C., Richmond, N.C., Norfolk, Baltimore

2007-02-28T10:18:00.000-08:00

Tonight in Washington, D.C.:

Wednesday, February 28th
What Philosophy Majors Do After College

In her hour-plus solo show, Jen starts off with "The History of Western Philosophy in Fifteen Minutes," and then expounds comedically on what one does with a degree in philosophy. In her case, stints as an art school model, a professional contraceptive tester, a failed dot-com entrepreneur, and finally, a comedian telling grammar jokes in Wonder Woman underpants.

D.C. Arts Center
2438 18th St. NW
7:30pm
$10

Winston-Salem, N.C.:

Saturday, March 3rd
Camel City Showcase

The Garage
110 W. 7th Street
Winston-Salem, NC
Music by The Malamandos, Viva La Venus, and 220 Short with special appearances by caberet, burlesque and comic performers Foxy Moxy, Molly Crabapple and Jen Dziura
8pm
$5

Raleigh-Durham, N.C.:

Sunday, March 4th
A Triple Threat of Subversive Women Who Will Eat Your Brain

A cult classic about strippers who kill men with their bare hands, a burlesque dancer turned authoress, and a comedian in Wonder Woman underpants, all in one day.

305 South Anti-Mall
305 South Dillard St., Durham
2pm - movie
4pm - Molly's book signing and mini Dr. Sketchy's
7pm - Jen's comedy show
All free.

Norfolk, VA:

Monday, March 5th
Jennifer Dziura Appears at The Boot
123 W 21st St, Norfolk / 757-627-BOOT
8pm
$5 at the door
Followed by musical performances from Larkin Grimm and Marissa Nadler.

Baltimore, MD (workshop + show!):

Tuesday, March 6th
Stand-Up Workshop With Jen Dziura
$20. RSVP to seminar@jenisfamous.com

Click to enlarge

Wednesday, March 7th
What Philosophy Majors Do After College

In her hour-plus solo show, Jen starts off with "The History of Western Philosophy in Fifteen Minutes," and then expounds comedically on what one does with a degree in philosophy. In her case, stints as an art school model, a professional contraceptive tester, a failed dot-com entrepreneur, and finally, a comedian telling grammar jokes in Wonder Woman underpants.

Sponsored by Original Sin Cider -- free with admission, 'til it runs out!

Hamilton Arts Collective
5440 Harford Road (third floor)
Baltimore, MD
(443)653-2120
Doors at 7:40pm, show at 8:00pm
$10

boobs

2007-02-28T10:17:00.001-08:00

By the way, Molly, I think you may be the reason my blog is banned in Dubai.

Tour Update: The First Two Days

2007-02-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

And now, I present you with photographs, in rough chronological order, much like the multiple choice questions on the AP US History exam.

From my show on Monday at New Orleans-themed bar, The Red & The Black:

The Palace of Wonders is a vaudeville and sideshow-themed venue which, amazingly, happens to be directly next door to The Red & The Black, which neither of us knew when we booked our shows. From Molly's Dr. Sketchy's on Tuesday at The Palace of Wonders with Amber Ray (who took the bus down from New York and will be here til Friday):

Look, we're not saying we're good photographers. World, listen to us: our job is to BE photographed! How did this happen that we're taking photos of each other's with my circa 1997 digital camera? OTHER people are supposed to do that and then email us impossibly flattering photos of ourselves. If you have a degree in a subject that ends in the word "theory," come along and "other" us.

To conclude, here are some things I have learned so far:

Free red beans and rice with two-drink minimum is a fantastic policy for a bar. Several times throughout Monday night, I'd see someone look over at someone else's food and say "Rrr, one more drink and that'll be free!" (I'm pretty sure you could buy two drinks for less than the price of buying the red beans and rice outright)
In DC, many streets are named with letters and numbers, which implies a logical grid system. There is, in fact, a logical grid system. However, if you are accustomed to New York's different but also logical grid system, in which, for instance, if you go west on E 42nd St, it will turn into W 42nd St., you will be very disappointed when you, in your Ford Taurus rental, drive east on 12th St NW hoping to get to 12th St NE.
Even burlesque dancers' areolas are not immune from body makeup.

-Jen

We're in DC

2007-02-27T09:26:00.000-08:00

Jen is at the gym earning her title in the world's most perfect ass competition, and I'm here at our friend Jessica's house, mooching around dripping wet from the shower. Last night, Jen organized a show at the Red and Black, a New Orleans themed bar. The architecture was astounding.

I changed in a bathroom hastilly converted into a dressing room with a do-not-enter sign, and stripped with a blue fandance. Jen told smart comedy. Death by Sexy played loud, yet admittedly sexy rock.

We got lost there and back.